I’m sure you are all thoroughly enjoying your round of tonsil hockey, but I’m not.

Good day 🙂
Today I will be talking about PDA…(erm Public Displays of Affection for those of you who are slightly illiterate or socially inept).
Have you ever know someone or had to hang out with someone who just couldn’t keep their hands (or their tongues to that matter) to
themselves? that’s what I thought, isn’t it gross?
Ok, ok so most of you are probably ready to post a rude comment about how “true love is meant to be shared” and crap like that.
I’m not buying it, “true love” is meant to be shared yes, WITH EACHOTHER, not with everyone else in the southern hemisphere. Like, seriously
they might do it in the movies but do you think we enjoy dreading walking down a corridor or something terrified of what we might find lurking around the corner, um NO!
GET A ROOM! seriously, an actual room, with a lock on the door if you wanna procreate do it in private asseblief.
ok, here’s the do’s and dont’s of how best to go about having an actual healthy relationship without getting into eachother’s pants at inappropriate moments (this aint a Playboy magazine you know)
Do:
1. stuff with eachother in a locked room
2. hold hands in public (I’ll grant you that much)
3. act like you’re mature people and not horny adolesents
4. use a condom
5. have actual conversations- tongues are used for more than making out thank you
Do not:
1. Get all kinky with your siblings in the room
2. Get all kinky with your parents/ grandparents/ aunts/ uncles/ cousins etc. in the room
3. Start getting into very unorthodox positions in an open place ie: kitchen counters are a no no people are putting food on that
4. Make out while watching a movie (unless you’re in the cinema or something but in your house like, people have to walk past you all the time)
5. Intrude your sister’s/ brother’s personal space ie. you have a bedroom-use it, not mine
Thank you for listening, hopefully I will be more cheerful next time. 😦
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2 Comments

Filed under Average Advice

2 responses to “I’m sure you are all thoroughly enjoying your round of tonsil hockey, but I’m not.

  1. uknowwho

    sorry harri…

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