Woah! Lady, give your kid a break…stop force-feeding him macaroni

First of all, I love my mom because I’m supposed to be doing my chores right now, but I’m not. This is because I had a complete brainwave moment concerning this blog. She’s the kind of free-spirited person who believes in letting creativity flow, so she told me to get lost and get started on writing this post…such a kind lady :).

Which gets me onto my topic for today, the rents. The good, the bad and the ugly. I’m not saying all parents are going to fit the stereotypes I set for them, I’m saying that every parent probably does atleast one of these things. Their only human 🙂

This is kinda turning into an investigation, if I had known about this for the science expo I would have so done this, maybe then I wouldn’t have gotten into the second round and schlep myself all the way to Wits. Damn, I give you guys full permission to use this blog as reference if you want to fail science :D.

Starting…now!

Exhibit A: The ” I don’t really have balls…or a spine for that matter” Parent

” Sure honey, you can go out clubbing, let me get you a fake ID. Condoms are in the medicine cabinet”

Woah, dude! That’s bad, your kid is like…13. Grow some balls, do them a favour. When they get pregnant don’t say I didn’t tell you.

Exhibit B: The ” Cut your hair, or I’ll cut it for you despite the fact that when I was your age mine was longer” Parent

Um, I’m sorry did you see yourself in the 80’s? If your kid wants a mullet, let him have a mullet. Maybe he doesn’t like short hair, have you thought of that?

Exhibit C: The ” Lets live in the 18th century and be conservative” Parent

If a boy and a girl go into the same room together, they are not going to have sex. Maybe you should become friends with Exhibit A and teach each other to stop being extreme . This isn’t a Jane Austen book.

Exhibit D: The “I feel like the same meal everyday for the rest of eternity Parent

My mom likes doing this, there are times when all I ever eat is:

  • Macaroni and Cheese
  • Porkchops
  • Jambalaya (it’s some southern dish-Google it!)

Last month we ate Jambalaya for three days in a row 😮 nearly killed me.

Exhibit E: The “You got a B in your extremely difficult test therefore you are grounded little child!” Parent

Bless my good fortune that i never landed up with this type of parent, I’d move out I really would.

I’m going to be looking at this post in 20 years time and see myself in every single one of these examples, but for now I’m going to enjoy my apparent genius 🙂

I’m happy, therefore you should be too 😀




Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under Average Advice

5 responses to “Woah! Lady, give your kid a break…stop force-feeding him macaroni

  1. There is no reason on gawd’s green earth that a child should ever be allowed to have a mullet. Those with mullets will have to spend an extra five years in purgatory for their crime against nature. 😉

    If I had to choose, I’d say I’m the “same meal everyday” kind of parent. My bad, I guess I need to work on some variety.

    • I have a feeling that every parent is a “same meal everyday parent” but as a kid I say mullets are cool if you braid and bead ’em 🙂 rock on

  2. Your blog on those Exhibits you mentioned really do ring true in real life. Exhibit E is an extreme form parenting which not only breeds kids into the whole hurried child syndrome where perfection is everything to the point of stress and mental breakdowns as well as forcing the poor kids to live in the approval trap all because these sort of parents are living their expectations through their own children. Exhibit A parent are the free-rein parents that I have come across in real life and in fiction in the form of Regina George’s dumb mother in Mean Girls.

    • I was friends with the child of exhibit A, in fact all these examples are based on people who I have come across in my past years. 🙂

      • Taylor Evans

        I know an example of every single one of these. My dad in particular is Exhibit E…. Though he has gotten better after my 6th grade teacher called and told him that I was having a mental break down because I got 70% on a maths class test…. Since then he has calmed down… a little.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s