Mistakes and Nigerians.

Mistakes.

I find it weird how common they are, yet how hard it is to live up to them. I can say I’ve never gone an entire day without making a mistake. Even if I lay in bed for the whole day I’d be making a mistake because I would have wasted that whole day not making mistakes, which is, in turn, a mistake.

Therefore I can conclude that mistakes are inevitable, they’re regular, and yet totally unacceptable.

I recently made the biggest mistake of my life. Okay, maybe it’s not that big, but it was pretty big.

I let someone else’s mistake of not seeing my worth become my mistake. It’s going to take a long time for me to forgive myself for that. It’s also going to take a long time for me to actually trust myself again.

I think that’s so stupid! Mistakes are so trivial, and if we learn from them then they aren’t mistakes are they? And yet I am so hard on myself for letting that mistake happen to me.

I learnt though, I learnt so much from that little mistake that made me feel like my world was ending and I didn’t want to get out of bed or breathe. I even started “caving” which is what my mother calls me putting my head under my covers, crying and listening to Taylor Swift and the Cranberries. It’s not pretty, and I don’t do it so often that it deserves a name, but it has a name anyway.

Things I learnt from my little (really big at the time) mistake:

1. I deserve better

2. Never trust anything anyone says unless they show you they mean it

3. “Caving” does not help anyone

4. When in doubt, a hamburger helps

5. I need to let life play out. Most of the time everything is out of my control. If I try to control it, it’s basically like trying to steer those little kid car rides, pretty pointless.

6. Never make yourself smaller to accommodate for someone else’s own self importance

7. Twitter is bad

8. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

As already stated in “Taylor Swift is A Terrible Liar”  and “Waiting For a Phone Call”  relationships are stupid. They make you gooey and emotional and just yuckie. Those are probably the biggest mistake makers on the planet.

“oooh, but I thought he loved me”

“Turns out he’s actually a dad”

Two of my friends actually always end relationships with the statement:

“I found out he’s Nigerian”

I have friend who wrote a poem, not about Nigerians, but about getting over mistakes and moving on, kind of.  I really like this poem so I tried to slot it in here.

Grasping Happiness
 
I have to learn to breathe
Just breathe…
and hold onto small details
like how quickly clouds move
and how sunlight can warm my soul.
 
Think of how much I’ve grown since it ended
not of how much I’ve lost
 
He doesn’t know what I look like on my worst
He has no idea how to love deeply and painfully
like I do
 
He’ll never look at the beauty of the jacarandas in autumn
and think of home
all he sees is how much better they’d look in bloom
 
And I will bloom, like a shriveled bud I will open and thrive
I will thaw my iron soul with sunlight and quick-moving clouds
I will grow and lose but still grow from that loss
and everyone will look and see how beautiful I am when I blossom
 
But he will never get to
Because he never thought of home when he looked at me in Autumn
but rather, how much better I’d look in bloom.
 

So learn from your mistakes people, and grow from them, and learn to forgive yourselves for the mistakes other people made in not seeing how cool you are.

 Because I bet you there are a whole bunch of people who looked at you in Autumn and still thought you were better than fresh gravy on a Sunday.

 
 

 

 

 

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July 23, 2013 · 9:09 am

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